Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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