Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize