dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
