i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
