I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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