My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
