That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
