Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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