id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
