I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
