It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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