If i come over, it means nothing
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
