he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
