don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
