i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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