I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
