her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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