Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
