ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
