SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
