i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
