are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
