My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
