All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
