trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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