He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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