How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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