You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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