dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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