i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
