Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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