i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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