Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
