Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
