So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's never too late to be topless.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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