the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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