Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
