I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it hurts more in the daytime
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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