don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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