it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
