There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
