Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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