I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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