Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
