She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
