that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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