Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
