How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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