i think my tv is drunk
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
