I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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